Season by the Script - 2026 Week 14 - The Mini-Budget
Bad Company---------------Division Titles: The Slamhounds pick up the repeat even after a miserable loss to the lowly Vermin, thanks to Wausau's loss in a need-to-win game against the Lengths. BC South still remains up for grabs; Zena can clinch the division with a win over Stockholm in week 15, whereas Stockholm can rest comfortably if they win out against the Soneros and Dragons. If the North Stars beat Zena but lose to the Dragons, this risks some tiebreaker madness.
Seeding: Status quo on 1 seed. Derry is on its way towards winning out the season, but still will want to see some stumbling down the stretch from whoever emerges on top of BC South. Echunga's punched its ticket to the playoffs with a 6-seed clinching win against Harnosand. The 7 seed comes down to Montevideo with a one-game edge and Batman, who will be regretting an overtime loss to Nice. With the Screamers holding a head-to-head win, the Robins need two wins to their tally and two losses to the Uruguayans.
Fail Brigade---------------Division Titles: Viva la Failure Brigada, where no one was capable of crossing the finish line.
- Paris needs one win out of its final two games to take FB North back; two losses opens the door for the Dragons if they can beat Paris and then Stockholm... ouch.
- Heliopolis survived a scare from the Corpses to move into the FB East lead and can clinch with one more win against either of Derry or the Dutch. Two losses opens the door for, ****, anyone else in the division; look for the winner of Week 15's game between Harnosand and Bwindi to spot the most likely challenger.
- An entirely-understandable loss to a Paris team that looks better than ever leaves the Kings awaiting coronation. A win over Philly in Week 15 or North York afterwards clinches it, otherwise they might come a half-game short against Will Smith and the gang or need to survive tiebreaker madness against the Baguettes.
- Everything that needed to happen happened to make FB West a scrum again. North York slips into first with a tiebreaker over Florence, and they can put themselves in prime position for the crown by beating the Lions in Week 15. They'll want the Fools to drop a game against Star City or Philly to avoid a must-win against Hong Kong in the final week. Penrith is in a tight situation, but if they can beat the Wildcats and Harbourmasters, there's enough difficulty in the way of their peers that they could come out on top.
Seeding: Paris beating Hong Kong means that the 1-seed will belong to FB North's champion, with the runner-up taking the 5th seed as a consolation prize. 6 and 7 are still well up for grabs, with six teams sitting within a game of the playoff race. The smart money's on the 6 seed going to FB South's silver medalist and the 7 seed going to FB South's bronze or FB West's second-place finisher, but this league makes a fool out of the smart money quite often, and someone in the FB East might yet have a say.
And, yes, if you'd told me that FB West could potentially have two teams in the playoffs this year, I would've laughed just as hard as anyone else. But that's why sixteen weeks separate the playoffs from the preseason predictions.