(Placeholder for shiny shiny.)

(This post will be replaced when UEFWCL v2 is done. Design is not my passion.)

Of 2029 so far!

We said farewell to the Soneros as Pakkinen glumly handed the belt over to the freshly repainted Champions and their new general manager Arthur Fisher-Inelegance, who continued their unlikely-to-ever-be-bested 30 game winning streak, until the 3rd week of the season, where Fisher-Inelegance lost the plot, and the Heliopolis Tomb Kings, resplendent in their new helmet (Is that a new helmet? I've honestly lost track.) were there to scoop up the championship with a convincing defeat.

After the Tomb Kings' own 3 victory-run, the championship then went for a wander around the block, changing hands almost every game, with several new names making an appearance.

Congratulations to the Penrith Lions, the Star City Slamhounds and the Hurlingham Herons for finally getting your names engraved onto the Plaque of Decreptitude (working title), long may you compete for this most prestigious... um... prestige.

As we go into Week 16, the Hurlingham Herons face off against the Slamhounds in what could be a crucial match; while the Slamhounds are eliminated from postseason, the incumbent Herons are in contention for the last playoff berth, although this does depend upon the unlikely event that the Echunga Echidnas somehow lose to the Al-Asfoor Also-Rans. Will the UEFWC be contested in the Hyperelectrobowl? Your humble chronicler does not think it likely.

img src equals.. hmm. no, that didn't work.


Post-season update.
Echidnas crushed Oryx into dust 'neath their sandal'd feet; so a 24-14 win for the Herons was not enough to take them and the belt to post-season.

I'm not updating the graphics for one match.

I had just written out a witty, detailed post about everything that had transpired in the UEFLC since the last post, but accidentally pressed Escape and it cancelled everything.


Ahem.

Welcome to the now-traditional post-Week 15 issue of "Whatever happened to that UEFLC thing? Why do you think that a 444px x 3204px image is the best way to represent anything? And didn't you say you were going to overhaul the format?"
To which the answers are respectively, "It's a pain to update so I only do it twice a season; it isn't; and I say a lot of things, shut your noise"

Yes, my dear friends, I am here to provide you with both information and entertainment, although it is likely to be significantly less witty than the previous attempt on account of aforementioned murderous rage.

I would be remiss not to give the Hurlingham Herons closure for last season, so I can say that they accrued a 4-win streak, before dropping it in Preseason 2 to the Catastrophe by a sliver of a sliver.

Preseason is a fickle mistress, as can be demonstrated by 3 champions in 4 games, with only the Sicilians making a go of making something out of it, but they in turn, were made to be fools by Florence in Week 1 aka Preseason 5.

I have waited so long, my friends. So terribly long, since creating this belt, and I've never held it, and NOW IT'S MINE. UNLIMITED POWER! NO-ONE WILL EVER TAKE IT FROM ME, AHAHAHAHAHA
Wait, what are you doing, Shiiuga? I invited you to this league! Shiiuga. STAHP!
Well. You have made a powerful enemy this day.

The usurpatious Polish ankle-biters were not able to hold my belt for long and were punted into the long grass by the Screamers who did what they do best, going for a 6-win run streak before dropping the belt to our new AI overlords, who, in turn, lost in an absolutely devastating show of dominance by our other new owner, JB90 and his Cannoniers, who crushed the machineheads by 46 to 3.

We go into Week 16 with the Cannoniers facing against the Fiorentine who will be keen to get their hands on my belt again. YOU HEAR ME, POMERANIANS, MY BELT. MINE, but both teams are going to the 2030 post-season via the Fail Brigade playoffs, and so the 2030 Hyperelectrobowl will decide who carries the belt into 2031.







MY BELT.


Post-post-season update:
As all know, the Cannoniers took the belt to the final (despite referee interference, that ball was over the line) with the North Stars making it their own again after a hard-fought win against the newcomers.


Good season that one.

Week 16 of 2031 rolls around and it's time for everyone's favourite text-and-graphics report from Pointless Electrosports Gubbins.xlsx!

As is their style, the North Stars kept the belt all through preseason and the start of the main season, until they dropped it to the Screamers in Week 4. The Screamers have a long and varied history of holding the belt but without a coach they were only able to hold on for 3 games before passing via the Mean Machine to Tokyo Revolver, who held it for 4 matches. I expected more from the Revolver run, but a surprise defeat by the AI-controlled Compton Catastrophe in Week 12 scuppered that, and more surprisingly they have gone on a run of their own.

In the highly unlikely event that the 8-7 Catastrophe are able to defeat the 15-0 Rumberos, the belt may or may not go to the playoffs depending upon results elsewhere. But let's be real. It's definitely going to the playoffs. Unless a coronal mass ejection knocks out the internet, or something. We can hope...

It's a formality at this point but a necessary one for closure.



If more of us valued food and cheer and song over hoarded championship belts, it would be a merrier world. But sad or merry, I must leave it now. Farewell!