2022 Regular Season Awards

Welcome to the Regular Season Team Awards for the 2022 EFL season. These awards, presented by the Association of Sportspeople and Sportswriters, acknowledges major events and accomplishments of teams as a whole, both on and off the field. This season there were 32 awards handed out based on a variety of factors, from the Uniform Design Award to the Midseason Turnaround award, there is an award for every occasion. With no further ado, here are the awards for the 2022 Regular Season

Circus of the Mighty Award
Hong Kong Kings
Boasting the best-named roster in the EFL, the Kings have won the Circus of the Mighty award unanimously. The entire Association of Sportspersons and Sportswriters agreed that there is no team with better player names than the Kings. Also, with the coronation of King Charles III, the Kings have positioned themselves as the team with the most relevant name to today's news. Though young, the Kings are bound to shoot up to the top of the league soon where they can claim their throne.

Uniform Design Award
Forbidden City Dragons
Though they nearly won the "Don't Go There" award, the Dagrons uniforms were too good for them to not win this award. Sporting a beautiful Yellow on Navy look, with a scale-print helmet and red logo, the Dragons impressed nearly more with their look than their play. The 12-4 record is nothing to spit on, and the Dragons have the smarts and pieces to win many, many more games.

Worst Regular Season Record from Best Preseason Award
Derry Mean Machine
The Derry team, who led all teams in fewest points allowed during the preseason, is awarded the 2022 WRSRBP Award for going from a dominating 4-0 preseason record to an unexpected 2-14 regular season record. Though not a very auspicious season, the Mean Machine have what it takes to draft well and turn the team around next year. Look for them to be up for a different team award in 2023.

Founders Bowl Championship Award
Los Angeles Earthquake
With a 2-0 record and a combined score of 29-11, the Earthquake take home the Founders Bowl Championship Award as they beat the Kings of Hong Kong in both matchups. With the young, heavyweight champ Mike Tyson leading the way, the 'Quake look to make playoff runs every year, starting with a Wild Card spot in the 2022 Postseason.

We Don't Need No Stinkin' QB Award
North Miami Beach Railriders
North Miami showed this season that a highly rated QB isn't necessary to win games. Going 11-5 on the backs of their stellar run game, the Railriders demonstrated that a commitment to the run game can be a winning formula. David Fodor was the team's workhorse behind their incredible offensive line, running 385 times as the Miami team ran more than any other, averaging nearly 40 rushes per game, as they also led the league in turnover margin at a stunning +29. Look for them to keep some momentum up next season as Fodor hopefully stays fast and healthy heading into his 7th year of pro play.

Entirely Unpronounceable Team City Award
Ulaabnatar.....Ulaabatere....Unllbaablacksheep.....Ulaanbaatar Raptors
The Ulbatanar Raptors are awarded the Entirely Unpronounceable Team City Award for 2022. The Raptors from Unbalancatar had a good enough season to make the playoffs, going 10-6. Unblatter managed to win against some tough teams, though a loss to the Mean Machine may have been unexpected. Ulbaantaar will undoubtedly make another playoff run next season as they have the young talent to do so. If you have the means to buy a plane ticket to Unlabeledtar next year, enjoy watching this powerhouse offense take the field!

What is a Winning Streak? Award
Portland Pilots
Somehow, someway, the 7-9 Pilots could never quite string wins together. Though they started the season 2-0, their only other "streaks" during the season were losing streaks of 2 and 3 games. Though they didn't make the playoffs, the Pilots play in a tough division, making winning streaks of any kind difficult. Here's hoping they win at least 3 in a row next season, a feat that is quite likely given their youth at skill positions (looking at you, Bong). Maybe draft some DBs, but not the ones the Earthquake want to draft ;)

Wait for It Award
Star City Slamhounds
Life doesn't discriminate between the sinners and the saints, it takes, and it takes, and it takes. We keep living anyway. We rise and we fall, and we make our mistakes. If there's a reason the Hounds are still around, then they're willing to wait for it. The Slamhounds have one thing in life they can control. They're not standing still; they are lying in wait.

.500 Division Winner (BC) Award
Sumpan Crazy Wolves
It sure was a crazy season for the Crazy Wolves, winning their division with an 8-8 record. Thanks to a tiebreaker with Bohemia, the Wolves made the playoffs despite losing their final game of the season. Los Lobos Locos now look to make a deep playoff run with the hopes of winning the first EFL championship (in this Universe).

Dangnabit We Almost Had It Award
Bohemian Cubs
It really sucks to just miss the playoffs on a tiebreaker, especially when you've reversed your early season fortunes and won the final two games of the season just to lose out on the playoffs. Though they started 3-5, the Cubs clawed back to .500 by winning against some tough teams in the back half of the season. Though they won't be playoff bound this year, there's plenty of opportunities next season for the Cubs to take the BC East title and make a deep playoff run.

Three-Way-Tie-But-Playoff-Bound (1st Place) Award
Zena Soneros
The Soneros fought, scratched, and clawed their way to a division title despite being in a three-way tie for first. Luckily the tiebreakers all came up Zena as they won their final five games in order to snatch the title from their division rivals. The Soneros are setup for a playoff run this year, though that's not guaranteed in the future as they are in one of the toughest divisions in the league.

Three-Way-Tie-But-Playoff-Bound (2nd Place) Award
Montevideo Screamers
AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH what a way to end the season! The Screamers lost their final game of the season, dropping them out of sole first place in their division. Luckily, they still made the playoffs, though future runs are in doubt given the strength of their division.

Three-Way-Tie-But-Playoff-Bound (3rd Place) Award
Stockholm North Stars
Due to an unfortunate run in the back-half of the season, the North Stars made their own luck by beating the Screamers in week 16 to secure a playoff spot. The last 6 games, the Stars went 1-5, settling them into a wild card spot. maybe next year they'll keep sole possession of the division crown, assuming they can fight off what has become the most competitive division.

Hey, What About Me? Award
Cape Town Rhinos
The Rhinos were the only team in their division not to post an 11-5 record. They did manage a 5-11 record, so at least there's some symmetry there. Though they had the #3 passing offense in the league, a lackluster run game put them 13th in total offense. Unfortunately, you also need defense to win, an area where the Rhinos are going to look to shore up this offseason. With hope, they'll stampede into the playoffs next season.

Echunga Chunga Choo Choo Award
Echunga Echidnas
G'day, mate! Throw a couple shrimp on the barbie, grab a coldie and sanger with yer cobbers an' let's talk footy. Despite dropping the last 3 games, the Echidnas chugged into the playoff station by winning the BC West. A 10-6 record was all it took as Echunga went 7-5 against BC opponents. Their 3-1 interconference record did a lot to help get them the wins they needed to keep play alive into the postseason. Echungidnas are looking to win championship after championship, and they have the wit to do so.

Number 1 Draft Pick Award
Catacol Wildcats
Derry very nearly took this award on their race with the Wildcats but missed out by one game. The Wildcats, however, now get the auspiciousness of picking first in the upcoming draft, with a choice of any player they could desire. The current team will all only be in their second season next year, so the Wildcats are 100% upside. Look for them to be a perennial contender in the next few seasons as the youngest squad in the league starts to grow into their own.

Unreasonable Name Award
Reasonable Lengths
The reason the Reasonable Lengths won this award is they reasoned that the name, being of a reasonable length, was reasonable for the team. However, the Association of Sportspersons and Sportswriters have determined that reason had nothing to do with it, and that this name, though of reasonable length, has unreasonable content. No action is being taken by the Association or commissioner, and none need be taken, as the reasonableness standard does not apply here despite our reasonable and/or unreasonable expectations.

De Meest Nederlandse Naam Award
Nederlandse Wonderkinderen
De Wonderkinderen hebben de prijs voor meest Nederlandse naam gewonnen. DAT IS ALLES!

Frenchie (North) Award
Les Republicains de Paris
The Parisian team wins the Frenchie (North) Award for having the most French Influence in the league. Led by Mixolydian Fugue, Paris carries the best regular season record into the playoffs as FB's #2 seed. Managing to pace Zena and LA over the last five games, Paris is looking forward to a deep playoff run this season, and hopefully many more in the years to come.

Best Trade for an LA MLB Award
Porth Emmett Auctioneers
The Auctioneers traded the LA Earthquake for Chester McTester before the season started in what turned out to be a beneficial trade for them. McTester ended up a league leader in tackles and looks to be a keystone defender in any scheme. Though LA management has said they would be willing to trade for him back, the Auctioneers are positioning themselves as sharp traders and great dealers. Hopefully their team can get a bit younger in order to lower the number of oxygen tanks and wheelchairs on the Porth Emmett sidelines.

Midseason Turnaround Award
Seattle Slammers
After week 9, the Slammers held a 4-5 record. However, once the last 7 weeks of games had been played, that win number remained the same. Though they might not have turned around in the way they wanted, the Slammers did show a commitment to consistency in the back half of the season, dropping 7 in a row to finish 4-12. That being said, Seattle has a lot of good pieces that, if combined with some savvy draft picks, has the ability to win a ton of games next year. There's no telling how much better they'll be in 2023, but hopefully it's much better.

.500 Division Winner (FB) Award
Entebbe Elders
The Elders managed to win their division despite an 8-8 record. Though they had an even record, the Elders shut out 4 of their opponents in a pair of back-to-back runs, beating the Earthquake 3-0, the Prodigies 16-0, the Terriers 6-0, and the Mean Machine 29-0. If they can start scoring more next year, the Elders are set to take the division even more comfortably.

No Fly Zone Award
Nottingham Arrows
The #12 defense managed to hold opposing passers to a 55.2% completion percentage, leading all pass defenses. Even ignoring their league-second-best 72.4 offensive passing completion, it's clear that the only effective way to beat the Arrows is on the ground. If they shore the run defense up this coming offseason, expect the Arrows' defense to be a brick wall both through the air and on the ground.

Ford Special Teams Award, Presented by Ford Motor Co.
Harnosand Harbourmasters
James Ford of the Harbourmasters is the reason Harnosand is taking home the Ford Special Teams Award. With 3 return TDs and a 30+ yard per return average, coupled with a punter who led the league in punts inside the 20, Harnosand was the only choice for this award. Though they missed the playoffs, there's a lot of talented youth on the Harbourmaster's roster so, like a fine wine, expect this team to only get better with age.

Only Streaks Award
Florence Fools
The Fools started fast, going 5-0 out of the gate in this season. However, that was all they would win as they managed to drop 11 straight in the end. The Fools will look for some more variety next season, or at the very least try and lessen the length of their losing streak. Much like the windshield wipers on our editor's car, very streaky.

Cutest Mascot Award
North Eastern Terriers
It's impossible not to think Terriers are the cutest mascot in the league. There's absolutely no competition here. Plus, the purple logo on a dark helmet looks really cool. As for the teams on field performance, the Terriers have a lot of room for improvement, though none of that takes away from having the cutest mascot in the EFL. Bark Bark!

Cheesiest Team Award
Cheesy Philly
The only team in the league that consistently makes owners, coaches, players, and fans simultaneously hungry and blind, Philly takes the cheesecake for this award. Whether they're playing gouda brie-fense, or even cheddar offense, Philly won't swiss the playoffs this year. If they win the championship, expect a city wide havarti after a parade.

Frenchie (South) Award
Nice Baguettes
Bready or knot, the Baguettes missed the playoffs by a nosehair as their 9-7 record was not quite enough for the last wild card spot. A string of 6 wins in weeks 8-13 showed that the old adage is true, no pain, no gain. Though they have pain to spare, the nicest team in football has a fairly stacked team that will only get better this offseason. If Fromage Homage can stay healthy, the Baguettes will be a force to contend with for a long time, no loafing around here!

Second-Most Dirty-Adjacent Team Name Award
Ballsac, nope, Balsicas Bullfighters
The Bullfighters were the most 8-8 team an 8-8 team could be, going 3-3 in their division and 6-6 in their conference (2-2 in interconference play). Though their season was as middling as you can get, the times their name was mispronounced definitely were exceptional. The Bullfighters have a decent team but play in a tough division, making a playoff run a challenge in any season. Hopefully they can fight off the bulls of the league and get to the playoffs next season.

League's First Tie Award
Tillamook Sharknado
Week 16 saw the first tie in league history between the Sharknado and Earthquake, as neither team could score in the 2nd and 3rd quarters or overtime. The tie also locked in the Sharknado as FB West champions, a title they're sure to hold overhead of the ownership groups of the North Stars, Fools, and Earthquake. On the field, the Sharknado also had a stellar defense, one that may become one of the best defensive units over the next few years, scarier even than a tornado of sharks.

Most Dirty-Adjacent Team Name Award
Penith, sorry, Penrith Lions
Sorry Farrar in advance, but Penrith is one of those names that we at the Association of Sportspersons and Sportswriters trip over a lot. The Lions managed to make the playoffs with a 10-6 record, losing out on the division title because someone decided to get a tie in the final game of the season. Hopefully the Lions of Penith can tame their mane and win some games, maybe even a championship! We expect continued excellence from the Lions and know that wins and losses are both a part of the circle of life, and/or football.

That's it! Tune in at the end of next season for the 2023 Regular Season Team Awards