Week 1, 2022
Gee wizz that sure was a topsy turvy game against the Railees* (see secret note). I had to sit with the crowd because I wasn't allowed to get dressed or something. The man next to me said it because I am a scrub. I think that means that I am just learning so I thanked him.

Billy was the quarterback in this game and he was really good in the first half and threw a touchdown and everything. At the half time show (I wasn't allowed to watch) coach said we would win the game if we "stick to the fundamentals". I'm not sure what that is but I don't think we did stick to the fundamentals because we lost the game. Barry threw two passes to the other team which made coach quite sad, and my friend Frank hurt his foot. He used a lot of words that I was told are only for grown ups. He seemed quite sad too.

We get to play against the Baggits next and they did really bad in their first game. They did lose against the Lions by 70 points. That's a lot of touchdowns. The Lions might be quite good but coach says they "got lucky because the *grown up word* Baggits played a *grown up word* lineback at punt". Inny is our punt. He doesn't like me.

*Terry's secret note : I call them Railees, coach tells me to "pack it in" when I do but I think it's funny. I did hashtag railees on my Tiktok but nobody else used it. I am sure it will catch on.

Week 2, 2022
Holy gosh am I ever excited. Coach says I might as well play in the next game because we're a "shutshow" anyway. I think that's what he said but he was shouting so I'm not sure. We didn't do very much against the Baggits. Billy promised coach he wouldn't throw the ball to the other team this time and instead he just throwed lots of really little passes. I think Billy was smart but he was complaining about third down conversations all the time and coach got really mad with him telling him he wasn't trying hard enough. I am going to try super-hard against the Pee-Pees* and we will win the game.

I have a great plan and that is to throw the ball to Beaman all day. Actually Beaman said I should just throw the ball to him all day so I decided that it was my plan. I like Beaman but he talks very quietly and sometimes that makes him sound a bit scary. I have also decided that part of my plan is to ask Zoltan to not let the fat men from the other team sit on me. Zoltan didn't say anything. I don't think Zoltan ever says anything I wonder if he is moot or maybe he doesn't talk American.

Anyway it is very exciting. I was not allowed to get dressed again today and I had to sit in the area of the stadium where all the girlfriends usually sit. They were really nice and spent the whole time playing a game where they took pictures of each other on their cellphones while pretending to be a fish. I don't know who won the game but I think it might have been Flashy's girlfriend Simone because she has very big lips that look a bit like a fish anyway.


*Terry's secret note : I call them Pee-Pees because it is funny. The team is really called Portland Pilots but that is P P like pee-pee. It's funny. I told the kicker (don't know his name) this and he laughed and laughed and laughed. This made me very happy. I think I will make funny names for all the teams.

Week 3, 2022
My name is Terry Im and I am the winningest quarterback for the Hong King Kongs.

I am very pleased to be the quarterback for the team. Billy said I was only getting to be the start because coach is trying to lose games and get a better draft. I asked coach if this was true but he was reading his messages on the gram and didn't want to talk to me. I also asked coach which he thought my best play in the game was, but he didn't answer. Scooter said I shouldn't ask coach about that because coach was always looking away from the field when I was playing. I think this is probably lucky because I got confused a couple of times and threw the ball to the Pee-Pees (that is SO FUNNY).

After watching the sports news they did a special feature about the game this time and said that my cue rating of 26 is an all time record for a winning team! Yes! Terry Im the record breaker!

We are playing the Earthquakes this week. I am going to see if I can break the cue rating record again. I might also try to find out what a cue rating is.

Week 9, 2022
Fromage has been really quiet today. Coach yelled at him a lot, I heard. I wasn't there to see it because I got my foot broke when playing football but apparently coach said it was Fromage who was to blame for me getting hit in my foot. The funny thing is it wasn't my foot that got hit! I know right! I was looking to see if Flashy was ready to catch the ball but I couldn't see him, I then looked for Crash and I couldn't see him either, I also couldn't see Frank and that's when I got hit in the arm when I was running but my foot broke.

It SUPER hurt. Like a lot. I was on the floor in massive amounts of pain and the doctor came and said I was a brave solider and he gave me a lollypop that tasted funny and that's all I remember. The fat man from the Lion who hit me was trying to be nice before the doctor came over he leaned in and said "welcome to Electrosports, choker" really loud because the crowd was very loud at that point. It was nice of him because that's the fun name that Big Rod and Tyrone gave me.

Anyway I was let out of the hospital with a big plastic thing on my foot. I asked coach if I was still going to be quarterback for the game this week and he said I should "go run a lap of the field" and he'd let me know. So I started to do the running. I was still in my jimjam bottoms because my normal pants don't fit over my new plastic shoe and that made it really hard to run but I did do the lap in about 2 hours and then coach had gone.

I watched the game with me in it and it was really funny because Frank and Crash and Flashy wasn't even playing when I was looking for them. It was also super fun to see Gaz Rubber try to be the quarterback because we is a catcher not a thrower and he wasn't very good.

The doctor said I should not dress for practise but there's no way I am going to the rehearsal ground with my winkie out. They are still making fun of me for when I did it last time.